This report is from the Stress Talk by Danny McGuigan, given in June 2006.

Danny McGuigan is the Director of The Business Development Centre in Glasgow. He leads a team of management consultants, psychologists and counselling therapists who work nationally and internationally. Their expertise is in measuring and addressing stress and its effects on individuals, teams and entire organisations.

Here in Scotland they have experience of both the public and private sectors. They have done a lot of work in the NHS and local authorities. Danny’s own speciality is the title of his doctoral thesis: “Friendship at work” (subtitled: an exploration of the views and experiences of senior managers).

There is probably no one better qualified to speak on the subject: “How do I help a colleague, client, friend or relative who needs to manage stress?”

He began: “We are all in this together.” All of us have some experience and suggestions to offer.

First, he had us pause for a full 60 seconds and think about: “How am I really feeling about being here?” What a novel experience even that minute was for most of us in our working day, so rushed are we, so much under the “control” of our voicemail service or our PC on-switch.

Second, he stated: “Acknowledging my own stress and that of others is vital.” Without this, we are out of touch with reality – ours and others’.  If we registered nothing else than that sentence plus the following three statements, we would be doing well:

1. Deep listening is worth more than thousands of words of advice.
2. Deep listening to myself enables me to listen more deeply to others.
3. Friendship is the most powerful buffer or remedy for stress.

But there were many other tips and insights from Danny.

For instance, he wanted us to know that there is a goldmine of information about stress on the Health and Safety Executive’s website: www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/stresspk.htm

He went on to show us a graph – with performance on the vertical axis, and level of pressure on the horizontal. As we progress from left to right, we move from boredom to comfort and then to stretch. As we do so, all the while our level of performance has been getting better, even though the level of pressure has been increasing from medium to average and now maximum.

But as we continue beyond stretch, we get into strain – and our performance wanes, possibly with our ending in panic and performing poorly. In our poor performance mode we can suffer loss of perception and focus, we are unable to switch off, we struggle to motivate others, and we can suffer some ill-health.

Yes, the body is a vulnerable mechanism once subjected to stress. Our cognitive function, blood pressure, respiration, heart and digestive systems like to cohere, but when subjected to too much stress show tell-tale signs of impending breakdown.

Stage 1 of stress can be speeding up, talking quickly, walking fast, and working at high speed and for long periods of time without tiring (at the time…).

Stage 2 of stress can evidence irritability, dyspepsia and gastric symptoms, tension headache, migraine, insomnia, loss of energy, “comforts” like alcohol, smoking or increased food intake.

Stage 3 of stress can take on one or more of these serious characteristics: cotton-wool head; gastric ulceration; palpitations; anxiety, depression, tiredness, lack of energy; physical or mental breakdown.

Contrast even Stage 1 with healthy functioning: when we are functioning well, we feel well; we have a relaxed manner; increasing pressure actually enhances performance; we have clarity and foresight; we are able to say “No”; we are seen as adaptable and approachable.

OK, so fatigue can set in at various times, but for as long as it is reversible fatigue we are not on the downward slope. However, once fatigue becomes exhaustion, we really are on the downward slope.  And despite working longer hours we actually achieve less!

Beware of getting into this would-be macho culture, said Danny. For example, in it we lose our creative thinking, and being only in survival mode we miss opportunities we would not otherwise.

Back to the key messages:

1. Deep listening is worth more than thousands of words of advice.
2. Deep listening to myself enables me to listen more deeply to others.
3. Friendship is the most powerful buffer or remedy for stress.

Taking stock, taking time out to pause, some kind of meditation is critical. The management guru Peter Senge has written in “Fifth Discipline”: “Whether it is through contemplative prayer or other methods of simply ‘quieting’ the conscious mind, regular meditation practice can be extremely helpful in working productively with the subconscious mind.”

In case we are wondering where some medical opinion may sit on all this, Danny paraphrased from the British Medical Journal of 23 July 2005: “Mindfulness-based stress reduction in medicine is about: heart; spirit; soul.”  Such terms in a medical publication may surprise us.

Staying with medical opinion, Danny quoted from an article about research – Harvard University’s October 2004 edition of “Health for Life”: “(…) research shows that people with strong social networks – of friends, neighbours and family – tend to be healthier (…).”

Here then is Danny’s central thesis: there is a link between wellbeing, including wellbeing at work, and friendship. Now, this may strike some as counter-intuitive and counter-cultural!

Danny said: friendship is the preferred reality of workers/managers, but not of wealth-creators and many decision-makers who see it as an unnecessary workplace phenomenon.  Some of the latter will say, “Better not encourage friendship: it brings hidden dangers!”  What do they mean by that?

Some managers and senior people fear that friendship in the workplace can lead to unprofessional behaviour, time wasting and not enough work, cliques, favouritism and nepotism, political vulnerability (especially for authority figures), and romantic liaisons…

So, where stands friendship in your organisation or mine?

In August of this year, Tom Rath, Director of Research for the international Gallup organisation, will be bringing out a book called “Vital Friends”, based on 7 million questionnaires and 20,000 interviews. You’ve guessed right: if you want your employees to be well and productive, they must have best friends at work. If they don’t, they have just a 1 in 15 chance of being fully engaged with the company and its objectives.

Friendships are really important, said Danny.  They help people, especially leaders, make sense of organisation and culture – and life! – and they help avoid the downside of stress. In some of life’s deep realities, we all need someone to hear us out, acknowledge our stress, and just listen! Friendship in the workplace can help us make sense of these realities.

Danny’s final slide was memorable:

The learning path to deep listening: Psalm 46, verse 10:
“Be still, and know that I am God.”

For another take on this subject why not look at the report on David Craigie’s talk to business matters in October 2007 on “Coping with stress”?

business matters is grateful to this charming Belfast man for giving us such a masterful talk, and to Baillie Gifford for hosting our appreciative audience.